When I was younger I lived in a neighborhood in Southern Maryland called South Hampton. It’s about 15 miles from DC and a walking distance to the Potomac River. At night we could see the lights in Northern Virginia. Seeing as though the neighborhood was so close to these too points, a thought should come up that the land had some type of history to it.
We use to play in the woods a lot and notice a lot of awkward things in the woods and just feel uncomfortable. We found multiple paths that had deep groves as if there was a lot of traffic going towards the river and also a lot of old large piles of dirt randomly in the woods near the river. We would find old tools like hammers wheels to wagons and markings on trees. Then one day we found a old house that was basically flattened and as we walked we found a grave yard that was roped off by a metal chain fence. Later we found out that the land was once owned by a slave owner and was later used to transport materials from DC and Virginia to each other. So the paths we found were logging trails.
I feel places like this should be sacred to a town. It’s a piece of history that should be saved and cherished. This is just an example of how people walk amongst history daily and don’t even realize it.
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There are a few things that appear unclear
ReplyDelete"Seeing as though the neighborhood was so close to these too points, a thought should come up that the land had some type of history to it." this sentence doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me... Is it suposed to be seeming instead of seeing? rewording the rest of the sentence is def. going to need to be done in order to present a clear and precise idea. In your second paragraph, firstly who is we? Also, what is awkward and uncomfortable about the woods? This paragraph needs a little bit of clarifying it seems a little scattered and unfocused.
Make sure you know where and what your thesis is.
For the third paragraph remove, "I feel places like this should be sacraed to a town" simply just say Places like this are sacred to a town.... Also don't say "This is just an example" it doesn't read as scholarly as it could,'
The location sounds pretty cool though, you have the right iedea just maybe adding a little clarification could help.
I appreciate your story because neighborhoods have a lot more history than we give them credit for. They are where families are made and children are raised and those children carry those memories with them for the rest of their lives. I have a weird infatuation with grave yards and places connected to slavery and slaves because I feel that is where my history began here in America. This places definitely don't get the respect they deserve but it's great that you kinda had a hand in discovering one.
ReplyDeleteI believe that this is a very neat and important place. It would be very interesting if you could tell us how you found out it was a logging trail.
ReplyDeleteYour essay was pretty good. You should try to emphasize more on why this place should be preserved though.
ReplyDeleteI liked your essay. I liked how it was your personal experience and it relates to an important part of history...and don't forget the small paragraphs!
ReplyDeleteI like your essay, but you need to work on some of the grammar. It still sounds pretty cool though. Maybe shorten the beginning and include more about the location and why it is important to you and why it should be preserved.
ReplyDeleteYour post has a very interesting approach. I was impressed that you sucessfully argued that an old run down logging trail served a cultural significance. You have a very valid point. Try to see if you can dig up more history about this place.
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